"You can make more friends...

...in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." dale carnegie

Another quote that totally nails reality.

And just as true - probably more so - for institutions & organizations than for flesh & blood folk.

Consider NEW Coke - it's possible the new fangled recipe that was introduced with such major fanfare & expenditure of advertising bucks WAS better than the original, but when people tried it they found it flat. It lacked the fizz of memory, of association with past times & old friends. Out with the NEW, in with Classic Coke. And hefty sales were restored once more.

Thinking about Dale Carnegie's words got me thinking about the power of memory, of association, got me thinking about Coca Cola, got me thinking about what makes a powerful ad. Which brings me back to Coke!

Coca Cola's most successful ad, one of the most successful of all time, had nothing to do soda or entertaining or even the holidays - originally released in 1971, its carefully crafted message went straight to the heart.

Scene: A crowd of young people of all nationalities, on a hill, singing:
I'd like to buy the world a home
and furnish it with love,
grow apple trees & honey bees,
and snow white turtle doves.

I'd like to teach the world to sing
in perfect harmony.
I'd like to buy the world a Coke,
and keep it company.

It's the real thing - Coca Cola -
what the world wants today.

An America facing a deadly war abroad & massive protests at home, the publication of the pilfered Pentagon Papers & a devalued U.S. dollar LOVED the ad & sales soared.

Times have changed, but the ad's impact has not ~ this holiday season marks the 40th anniversary of its first airing; small wonder it still airs it at least once during the holiday season. Bill Backer, creative-director at McCann-Erickson, crafted an ad for the ages, one that touched the heart, stirring the affections of millions of couch-sitting, tv-watching people around the world.

The Academy does a great job of keeping alums & friends informed about what's happening in the schools. How well does it stir affections by sparking shared memories, by touching a common chord?

Something to think about.

Because people might support & contribute to organizations & institutions that are important to their lives, but they will contribute to ~ and generously ~ those that matter in their lives.

What timeless, heart-connecting, messages ~ honest, direct, affecting ~ can the Academy craft to share?

addendum (because it's a great story in itself):

After mind-boggling trials & tribulations, the television ad "I'd Like to Buy the World a Coke" was released first in Europe, where it garnered only a tepid response.

It was then released in the U.S. in July, 1971, and the response was immediate and dramatic.

By November of that year, Coca-Cola and its bottlers had received more than a hundred thousand letters about the ad. At that time the demand for the song was so great that many people were calling radio stations and asking them to play the commercial. Clearly, "I'd Like to Buy the World a Coke" had struck a chord deeper than the normal response to the advertisement of a commercial product.

"I'd Like to Buy the World a Coke" has had a lasting connection with the viewing public. Advertising surveys consistently identify it as one of the best commercials of all time. Such is the power of television advertising that through the enduring popularity of this ad, at least, Coke has become a common connection among people.

With Thanks to Tara!

"We grow great by dreams."

Woodrow Wilson was referring to our capacity to dream, but it could be also said of the impact of individual dreams. At least in my experience.

One of the greatest changes in how I act came about because of one dream, dreamt over 45 years ago.

It was the summer between 8th grade at BACS & freshman year at ANC. In the dream, I was talking to a classmate who always seemed to have friends buzzing around her.

"How do you connect to people?"

"It's easy," was her reply. "When I see someone I don't know, I just go up, smile, reach out my hand & say, 'Hi! I'm Tara Synnestvedt. Who are you?'"

What a crushing blow to awake & realize it was only a dream. But it got me pondering...

It might "only" have been a dream, but it was good, downright brilliant advice. Give it a try!

But who to try it on? My classmates knew me already, at least the me that had, in spite of pleasant mannerisms, been quietly & effectively anti-social since March 1959.

That left - who?

Ah... I was about to enter a new school. One that included boarding students!

Even though I was only a freshman, I made a point of introducing myself to each & every Glenn Hall resident.

"Hi! I'm Elsa Lockhart. Where are you from?" proved an easy introduction.

Turns out my sunny smile was golden to Glenn Hall gals missing younger siblings. Especially the incoming Juniors (back then, it was rare to have anyone younger than Juniors in the dorms). To many of them, I was a ray of back-home sunshine.

I've been baking for the dorms - Glenn & Stuart, Childs & Grant - for almost 50 years. Through most of those years, the connections were pretty tenuous - light touches rather than strong bonds. Had enough confidence for a smile & outreach, but not enough to go deeper. But it all laid the groundwork for the genuine friendships that would come!

Little did I realize it what power small acts - a smile as we passed during school, sitting around the Glenn Hall office (the gathering room), bringing a plate of freshly baked cookies, inviting a few girls to a home-cooked Sunday dinner - had for many young people far from home & family, some without a single relative or family friend in Bryn Athyn.

I know it now, because I hear it every Charter Day from people now reaching Medicare age who spot me & seem to turn back into the high school students of long ago.

"Thank you for (fill in the blank) back when I was in the dorm!" is something I've heard for decades. It was why I decided at my 20th reunion to start doing something special for the "Class of '70" dorm kids - children of classmates or friends or came from Australia (an automatic qualifier) or had some other special connection back to me. I'd drop off something to Glenn or Childs Hall about once a month, just something to let them know someone was thinking about them.

Stopped doing that a few years back. Not needed anymore, thanks to Lindy Bochneak's wonderful Dormie Warmie initiative which helps foster ties between Glenn Hall & "settlement" families, helps make our high school dorm students feel visible & valued.

These days, my attention is taken up with the college. For several weeks, I used the College Cafe as a distribution point for my Whoopie Pie Sliders (I got to feed students & the cafe got the profits), but last week that ceased to be an option (I use a licensed kitchen, but lack the required vendor's license). Am now back to leaving plates of nibblings in the Pendleton Hall Commons, with a note from "Aunt Deev". The beat goes on.

Countless connections from one dream. What dreams may come? I have no idea. But I look forward to them. And am forever grateful for the dream state Tara who shared such wondrous advice!

Epictetus Nails It

“If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.”

So true. A character in the film, Serendipity, used that quote to explain why calling the leading man a jackass was meant as a compliment ~ awe that someone would be willing to risk being thought foolish attempting to realize a dream.

Fact ~ the older I get, the more willing I am to be considered a jackass.

Consider another spot-on quote from Epictetus ~ "First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.”

In my case, that translates into reaching out for help. Sure, I know there were people who were confused, even bothered by my 2011 State of the Human letter/energy boost request. Can't imagine what they'd think about my seeking help from mere acquaintances & utter strangers in underwriting the next year, helping me out so I can help out the Church & Academy. No one sets about asking for money like that - flat out & up front. Well, I do because it's the only option I have. And I know that 99.9% of people asked won't be able or interested in helping out. All I can say is that for those few (if any) that can & want to, it's not a tax-deductible investment, but it could easily be invaluable.

See, if I am going to set about helping forge connections - natural, simple, low- to no-cost - between the organizations and flesh & blood people, I need to raise money to cover my current mundane expenses - especially 2010 & 2011 school tax bills - that threaten to leave me mute & motionless. Wouldn't the powers ranged against the church & school delight in that!

Yes, it sounds pretty cocky to say, "The powers of darkness would surely count THAT as a major victory!!". Well, it's not mere puffery, just the plain, unvarnished truth.

The fact of the matter is that I never learned effective - aka diplomatic - conventional communication styles. In fact, it took me decades to realize that my family's incongruent way of speaking & sharing ideas was NOT the norm, and even more decades working to improve. Come far, but I'll always be at least a tad off kilter. And I've learned to make that a good thing.

My communication style may seem offbeat to some - okay, to many - but it's my style. And it's a large reason why it would NEVER work to be a GC or ANC employee - my outspoken ways would ruffle someone's feathers. Much better to make a success of Cyber Access for the Technically Timid so that the monies made from my worthy vocation can, year after year, help underwrite my higher-calling avocation.


"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” I know, deep within me, that I'm the right person in the right place to help the organizations to which I own my love & loyalty.

So, I will screw my courage to the sticking place, reaching out to potential cheerleaders, supporters, even underwriters. I will do what I have to do, however much a jackass I might seem.

Strange but Sure

Not sure what was stranger - being given the boot from BISYS within four hours of returning to work after taking time off on the American Family Medical Leave Act ~OR~ realizing half-way home that MOM was behind the bizarre situation.

Seriously - that really happened. Was sobbing as I pulled out of the company parking lot in Springhouse, beyond baffled at the bizarre turn of events, but at a Willow Grove red light, the tears stopped abruptly as it dawned on me ~ ~ "This is Mom's doing - she NEVER thought the corporate world was the right place for me."

Knew it. In my bones. And through all the funky things that have happened over the past 10 years, that strange surety has never wavered. Not when my income went from well-above adequate & growing to zip & no benefits. Not when I would, time & again, get three interviews with a big company, then never get an offer. Not now, when we once again face the loss of our house due to taxes.

Now, I know WHY. Quite simple ~ my church & school have need of me.

Have need of all the talents & skills, affections & interests I've spent a lifetime developing.

Have need of someone who felt like I had no place within my community, in spite of being a 4th generation member of the church & lifelong Bryn Athynite; of someone who never felt, from K-college, like I had a place in my class; of someone who didn't even feel a sense of place in my own family.

Yet with all that being so, I cannot remember a time that I didn't have a strong sense of place, of belonging, of rest, in the ideals of the Academy & the values of my faith.

And to top that off, I knew in my bones that the way things seemed to be wasn't the way they were meant to be. Through persistence & inner fortitude, I worked at finding that better place and - in my late 50s - finally turned that for-so-long elusive corner.

What I can bring to the table is the ability to work OUT of feeling outside. And the means to make it happen for the many.

I am invaluable to my church & school because I've been outside AND found my way to belonging, to basking in a sense of connection.

My church & my school have made incredible strides over my adulthood, but there are a lot of people out there who seem to not feel a sense of connection to the organizations. My marketing background combines with my own experience to shout from the rooftops that connection comes from a stirring of affections.

I get that & believe that I can - through volunteer efforts, NOT in a paid position - help my church & schools reach out & give a sense of place to the lifelong loyalists, the sometime boosters, the rare but occasional contributors, and especially the currently disenfranchised.

I am where my Mom directed me just a shade over 10 years ago - taking first steps on a new path that already encourages me to be the person I am, taking the risk of being genuine, even if it means seeming to some that I am way outside the accepted norm, beyond outrageous.

It may be a strange path to many, but it's a sure path to me. And to Mom.

Whole in One

Very light-headed all morning. And increasingly short of breath.

As of earlier this morning, that was the gist of my reality.

Time for to do more for my physical fitness.

John is spot on in pointing out that there are things I can do to increase my fitness level, things I can do without spending a cent.

Improve my diet, increase my activity level, get the house clear & clean and keep it that way, actually master meditation, practice yoga. Every day I can express in my actions the whole life I seek to experience in all levels of my being.

There's always time to make optimum choices. I have the time & tools to BE a whole in one - a whole spirit in one body.

"Saving all my best lines for the third act"

Saw that phrase on a button - it rings so true for me. So, in spite of already having what seems like a gazillion other blogs in the works, here I am initiating yet another.

For some who basically & happily mooshes more aspects of my life into one cozy configuration, I do NOT like the idea of lumping all my thoughts, hope, dreams, (mouthy) opinions under one blog.

So, how does this newest fit into my galaxy of blogging endeavors?

It will chronicle my third act. I predict The Author saved all the best bits for here & now, that I'll turn in my best performances ever. I see the blog as a celebration, a record, of my stepping more fully onto the stage of my life, a place to write about the excitement that rushes through & infuses every aspect of my being as the curtain goes up on my own third act. Mom lived to 91 & I'll be 60 this February, so I guess this surely counts as an intermission between my second & third acts.

And it truly does seem that we've saved our best for the third act! Tomorrow afternoon, John meets with the manager of the New Hope & Ivyland Railroad gift shop. Tomorrow morning, I'm writing to Jim Junge about getting together about a matter of great mutual interest.

Turns out that Jim & I have two key things in common - strong feelings about General Church menbers & Academy grads having a stronger connection with the church & school AND neither of us has a clue how long we have to make a last bow contribution to the organizations to which we pledge our love & loyalty (Jim being 90, while my health is a tad iffy). After reading his article in the current New Church Life re: increasing contribution levels, it's very possible that I'm an ideal marketing-oriented foil to Jim's more businessman bottom line perspective.

How swiftly things change. A month ago, I was all atwitter over getting Cyber Access for the Technically Timid funded, up & running. That seem a bit bogged down Just read a Walt Disney quote, something I could have said just as easily - "Biggest problem? Well, I'd say it's been my biggest problem all my life. MONEY. It takes a lot of money to make these dreams come true."

It does take money to make dreams come true. And it can feel daunting trying to explain how what I want to do offers incredible dividends because it's all intangible, no collateral. In fact, it's possible John & I could be out of the house within a few months, as our taxes are once again due, the money we'd set aside to cover them was eaten up by unexpected home improvements, and there are no guardian Earth Angels to help cover the $$$. It might sound incredible, even inconceivable, but I'm at peace with whatever happens.

Fact is, last year I couldn't have handled such a blow. I was adrift, my energy fields flagging, my sense of purpose at low ebb. This year, my feet are on the ground & I know where I am going. My life has the meaning, the purpose it was always & forever meant to have. And that's what's crucial to me, not where I might be living a few months from now.

Very strange, very true. And neatly summed up by an artist interviewed in the PBS special, Craft in America - We are creatives. We will follow our true path. If we starve, we starve.

Almost leapt from the couch when I heard that - YES! that's precisely how I feel. Whether we head into fair weather or rough seas, both of us will be together, coming from our truest selves. We are creatives. We will follow our true paths. If we starve, we starve.

My dearest hope is that everything turns out fabulously well for EVERYONE. My plan is to create a substantial enough income stream from Cyber Access for the Technically Timid (CATT) to cover my portion of expenses, taxes & an occasional spirit-zooming trip out to Sioux Falls.

From the way things appear headed, income from John's artwork could hit or exceed what he was making back in his glory (pre-computer) days. And our various income streams will allow me the time to volunteer with the church & Academy, developing programs that make members & alums feel welcome, feel a sense of connection, of MUTUAL love & loyalty.

Who would have guessed a month ago that I'd turn out to be Mama Rose? "We'll be swell! We'll be great! Starting here, starting now - honey, everything's coming up roses!!"

Intermission - over.
House lights dim.
The curtain rises on Act Three.
Cue my best lines!