My dream is to expand from the few to the many.
Why me? Am reminded of a story about a guy stuck in a deep hole - he yells to a passing doctor for help, and the man throws him down a prescription; he yells at a passing lawyer for help, and the man throws down his business card; he yells at a passing minister for help, and she throws down a Bible. Finally, he sees a friend pass by. He calls to her for help & is shocked when the woman leaps down into the pit, to stand with him. "Are you crazy!" the desperate man cries. "Now, you're stuck here, too!" "Oh," she explains. "I've been here before. I know the way out." When it comes to facing the often shrinking lives of aging loved ones & friends, I've been there before - I can help show a way out of the fears of aging to the brighter light of a fully well-lived life.
Your comments - critiques - suggestions greatly welcome!!!
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"There are many things my physical condition keeps me from doing, but there are a lot of new experiences just waiting to be given a whirl. On the physical level, life stinks. On almost every other level--emotional, mental, spiritual--the world is my oyster and every month has an R! ~ ~ Marianne Williamson says that to get to the light, a person has to work through the darkness. In middle and early old age, life can seem dark and scary as we move out of the familiar into the unknown. Work through it toward the light.”
That’s my 90-year old Mom, Katharine Reynolds Lockhart, in a 2001 article – The Velveteen Grammie – we cobbled together from e-mails she wrote since the previous year. Twelve years ago, yet her voice, her presence is clear & strong, as close as http://www.Mindwalker1910.blogspot.com, which features many of her online postings.
Blogging helps olders capture years past, reconnects them to moments – big & small – throughout their life. It engages, energizes and empowers them. People far away or long gone come clearly to mind, feel almost tangible. Time & again, as Mom composed & I transcribed her postings, she’d slip into special moments – the little child celebrating the end of WWI, the young woman newly in love, the parent sending off children for trick or treating. Fun, connection, the gift of honoring a life – all flow from blogging life stories.
Sadly, most olders balk at life review, backing away with, “Who’s interested in my life? I didn’t do anything important. No one will care.” It’s true, some children might not care. But legacy blogging is not about others. In many ways, it’s not even about an “older.” It’s about honoring the life. (And I can almost guarantee the GRANDkids care!)
Blogging expands an older’s world. As does getting OUT, hitting the road for fun & even frivolity, getting “life veterans” out of artificial light & filtered air and into the wider world, sensing day turning into night, feeling the change of seasons. As does facilitating easy internet access, which takes even the home-bound to once unimagined places as they surf the web, connect with Facebook, communicate via e-mail.
Blogging, travel, internet access – each helped keep Mom lively to the end of her days. BUT she never touched a keyboard, never learned how to drive. I served as Faithful Scribe & chauffeur, keyboarding her around the web, driving her to a favorite local diner or off on a ramble, transcribing her dictation to e-mail (my years as an editor & writer proved priceless in helping Mom connect with topics, help craft her thoughts into words).
I started older2elder to get life veterans OUT. Out into the larger world, out onto the internet, connecting with those around them or far distant. Older2elder offers blogging support (from simple keyboarding for the technically timid to writing support for the computer literate), outs & abouts (near or far), and stress-free access to the internet (they direct, I keyboard). Ah, the bliss of providing priceless options & choices! The resulting fun, connection & life honoring – the potent power of play – can do more to lift spirits & revive the senses the any meds.
My present outreach is beyond teensy compared to what is needed - every “senior” deserves the advantages Mom enjoyed, every family deserves the difference they make in their loved one’s life. My plan is to use http://www.older2elder.blogspot.com for sharing ideas & insights, getting discussions rolling around eldering issues, spreading seeds of ideas for others to nurture & grow. Wheeeee!
While I can provide the experience, passion & determination, the core investment needed to take older2elder from inspired idea to far-reaching success is way past my present income. Your support, large or small, can make a difference. A snapshot of my projected basic needs includes*:
- Business/marketing coaching* – $1800
- IT support/tutoring* - $800
- Blog design* - $500.
- Desktop - still researching
- Cell phone/service plan - still researching
- Laptop - still researching
- Tablet - still researching
- Workshops/seminars/conferences – $3600 (excludes travel costs)
- 2010 Nissan Versa (to back-up 1999 sedan) - $11,000
- Self-publish THE VELVETEEN GRAMMIE - $2,200
All that may seem a brazen request, but leaves off full underwriting. Instead, as a nod to Mom (who could never have afforded my support services), monies raised over my target will be used to underwrite “no charge, no kidding” outings & events.
From funding to final success, my goal is for older2elder to embody the concepts of engaging, energizing & empowering. My hope is that others will ultimately take up the cause, leaving me free to flip other eldering issues – aging in place & building multi-generational communities – from hobbies to full-time focus. Always keeping my eye on the horizon!
What’s my background, my certifications & credentials? None. I am not a psychologist, a social worker, a trained counselor of any type. I am not a rent-a-daughter or even a traditional in-home care provider. Maybe the only special quality I bring to helping olders tap into their inner elder is the gift of seeing them as fellow humans still yearning to stretch & grow & even indulge their ageless human spirit. All I do, as best I can, is take down barriers, external & internal. That’s basically all I did with Mom & do for my current clients – clear & open paths that they can, if they want, take. They make the choices & do the rest.
Mom was in her 40s when I was born. Many of her friends were far older than she was. Throughout my life, I was privileged to sit in on their coffee klatches & cocktail parties, soaking in their talk about trials, tribulations & triumphs. In my teens, I did housework for many of them, talking over tea & cookies during breaks between dusting the living room & washing the kitchen floor.
As an adult, I was honored to develop close friendships with sprightly octogenarians, including ones whose spirits transcended their bedridden bodies.
Even my career path – in education, public relations, marketing and customer support – prepared me for older2elder, made me proficient in talking with others, in aiding olders in looking back at & valuing their past, in providing writing support.
To be both cheerleader & coach, I read – a lot – often with Mom. I learned how to balance being a “grannie listener” and “badgering & browbeating” (Mom’s words). I learned the challenges of family dynamics, of dealing from a family’s strengths rather than their unrealized hopes of what they wished they could do, of working with what is real even if it doesn’t seem ideal.
In late July 2001, my husband & I were staying with Mom outside D.C., 150 miles from home. She looked forward to welcoming area family & friends to brunch. Early that Sunday morning, she took a tumble; she was gone by mid-September. During her last week, at home, in her own room, in her own bed, Mom responded with her usual enthusiasm to e-mailed questions from a local college psych class, on life, love and leaving. She sent out e-mails to the end of her days!
Mom was 90 when she wrote her first Mindwalker1910 posting. At 61, I am just now beginning what feels like my true life’s work. Mom wrote about late bloomers in a 12/11/00 post – “I consider the personal changes I am currently experiencing as a late bloom, one after what I thought was a hard frost. Reynolds-Lockhart ladies may be late bloomers, but my, what a lovely bloom it is.”
Is it outrageous to think I can reach out in myriad ways to help countless life veterans enjoy some of the “élan vital” – vital life – that infused Mom? That little ol' me can make a difference to their families, friends & care givers? Why not? At the very least, I can step up & swing away!
Thanks for supporting my older2elder energies, either through chipping in or via your prayers & best wishes. I’ll be happy to send e-mail updates on what’s happening or you can check my blog for a sense of what I’m doing.
Here’s to helping countless life veterans blog, surf & ramble their way to staying engaged, energized & empowered!
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