Oh, the insightful thoughts that burble up after being awakened at 4:00 a.m., then unable to get back to sleep!
This morning, it felt like a great something flipped over in my soul. A flip I've believed in for many many years, a flip I couldn't make happen, it had to happen on its own, in its own time.
And this morning, there it was. On this side instead of that.
Two small but mighty moments in my life came together. A comment in an obscure movie that talked about how we are all energy, therefore all connected, all one. Heard that in the early 1990s. One comment by an actor in a little known flick, and my mind opened to its own power & glory for the first time. What I see-touch-feel is illusion; life was suddenly a spectacular something new & different. The second moment happened in the late 1990s, when I "adopted" my first BACS class, the ANC Class of 2010. One incredulous adult simply could not fathom why I would invest my time & energy in a group of children who were not related to me, whose families were not close to me in any way, who had no connection to my life. I explained that I didn't love them because of any family or friendship connection - I loved them because they breathe.
This morning, I woke up & my life had flipped. Ancient issues & chronic problems had blown away, like the head of fluff of a gone-to-seed dandelion. POUF! Gone. Instead of feeling small & unconnected, an aberration in a swirl of standard, I just am. Which is pretty darn stunning, as it means there are no barriers between me & anything.
Only endless pathways.
There is only the universal US. The US that connects all energies, that loves all "because they breathe."
None of this is news to me. It wasn't news when I heard John Heard's character talk about how EVERYTHING interconnects. It wasn't news when I explained to people that I loved the 1st grade because they breathed. In both cases, it was a reawakening to what I'd always known. The reason I could move through so much confusion in my life was because I knew the core reality was that I was connected to all of it, including the confusion, in a positive way.
That is not to say there aren't people, places, things to which I feel a special, deeper relationship. Praise be, there are. And I am open, receptive to forming more with all that comes along. But am sitting here, smiling, at an absurdly (for me) early hour, because my focus is on the incomprehensive, glorious, liberating BIGness & connection of it all.
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