Last night, had another remarkable thing happen that is just such a blessing. Well, it didn't really feel like a blessing when it first happened.
Last week, I stumbled across a long-ago friend online ~ she's the organizer of Literary Epicures of Newtown (PA). Was delighted! Had regretted letting our friendship lapse after she had kids & our paths parted. Touched base with her & we became FB friends.
But not for long.
Two or three days into our renewed acquaintance, I posted a comment she didn't like. She was dismissive of what I'd written & framed me as making a judgmental statement I'd never made. She had me speaking out for gun control, when the phrase was no where in my posting (although her mind clearly took her there).
In my response, I added links to additional sites supporting the reporting I'd cited and I noted how her point re: the role of mental health in tragedies such as Newtown (CT) was spot on - and noted I'd shared a link to "I am Adam Lanza's Mom" on that very point a couple minutes before she'd posted her comment.
That did NOT sit well with her. Her response - Elsa - there is a reason I have not been in contact with you for over a decade, and being your friend on FB for 2 days confirmed it. I have no interest in what you have to say. I wish you and John the best of luck in the future..................
Geez, Louise!!
At first, felt downright humiliated. For someone to post such a comment on my WALL instead of sending it as a private message - well, it stunned me. And it felt so terrible that anyone would find me so... not sure what the word is. If she felt that way, how many other people did, too? How many have blocked me because they experience me the same way?
Very upset, shed quite a few tears.
Not John. He laughed it off, knowing the source. (She made a play for him at our engagement party!) That gave me pause to reconsider my immediate response.
As happens so often, John gave me space to take a new look at the situation. Began to see it in a whole new light. Gosh! Her comment was almost identical to what my sibs have said for years. They have no interest in what I have to say. Now, for the first time, the unlikely had happened ~ ~ someone - okay, not one of my sibs, but SOMEONE - posted that very thing about me in the most public place possible. Out of the clear blue, I had the opportunity to brush it off with, "Oh, I've heard that same thing for years from my sibs. Used to it." WONDERFUL, liberating, being able to say that.
Ranks right up there with hearing a former co-worker of my oldest brother speak in disbelieving tones of never hearing from him or my niece, in spite of some really amazing things she & other co-workers had done on his behalf. No thank you, not response to phone calls asking how he was. Ah, the sweet relief of knowing someone else knew what most folks find unbelievable (and therefore don't).
Ranks right up there with someone trying to connect with my sister about an important event. It wasn't that he couldn't get through on her phone line - it was that it felt to him like she was listening to him leave his message without picking up the phone. And although they hadn't connected before the event (they did after), she'd sent a contribution toward it. Yep, that's my sis. Ah, the sweet relief of knowing someone else knew.
My forever thanks to All That Is for knowing that's all I've ever needed - it's spooky wonderful, knowing that someone, even just one someone, heard the same brutal words I had. It's not just me. Praise be!
So, thanks, Alex, for providing the opportunity to say to people who matter, "Got past it. Realized it wasn't anything new - heard it from my sibs. Seems I'm an acquired taste, like olives & artichokes & single malt scotch."
Yes, Alex, I've heard similar comments before, had people who mattered way more than you ever did turn on their heels, out of my life. If that worked for them - and you - then farewell & best wishes.
Oh - and don't let the door hit your backside on the way out!
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