Am continually amazed at how there are things I
can change by putting out conscious, constant & consistent efforts.
Can take that route to make changes to certain behaviors, but Deep DEEP
changes, changes to my actual attitude, to issues underneath behaviors, are
quite different & wildly elusive, indifferent to all the things that can
change behaviors.
Such changes never happen with me on any sort of
schedule, but pop up in their own time, in their own way.
REAL,
deep change comes when we welcome it, prepare to receive it, but it seems to
creep in quietly (at least with me), from the very edges of my being. BEing. And the changes I've received include things I never would have
imagined.
My
birth faith talks about reformation & regeneration. WE have charge of
reforming our actions, but a spiritual power has charge of BIG,
substantial, stuff-that-really-matters changes. Was going to say that the
Divine stirs the waters of our spiritual changes, but realized that the same
Divine force stirs all deep change.
My
job is to clear out a channel so change has a place to enter. I've
learned to expect some stunners, changes that take me places I never dreamed
possible.
Although my awareness of these changes often come to me all
of a sudden, am aware that their actual arrival is quite gradual, easing in from
the edges of my being.
One
of the greatest moments of a long-in-the-making change making itself known happened rather spectacularly about
15 years ago, during a women's book discussion group at Barnes &
Noble/Willow Grove.
Serendipity
My
connection with the group wasn't in my plans, but it was in Someone's.
Was sitting in one of the big comfy chairs next
to a low table, a stack of books near at hand. A woman was quietly
bustling about, sort of setting things up. She looked at the two of us -
myself & a guy (John was probably checking out magazines) - and assured us,
"Don't worry. We won't be using the space until 7:00 p.m.,"
about 25 minutes later.
The guy took one look at her, sort of mumbled,
got up & walked off. Not me - too cozy to move until positively
necessary.
The
woman hauled out about 4 or 5 books from a big canvas carry-all, placing them
on the table, next to my own stack of 4 or 5. She looked at hers, then at
mine, then at me, before looking back at the two stacks of books, hers &
mine. Interested by the look on her face, I peered at the two stacks,
first at hers, then at mine, then up at her. We locked eyes & just
experienced the moment.
Our
two stacks were identical.
Nancy Baker, it turned out, is a
life coach, one of the very earliest. In that unsought moment, my life
took a new turn. I was home.
Of
course, I stuck around for the group, a circle of diverse women interested in
connecting more fully with their lives. Never, ever would I have asked
for such a group or leader, since I was pretty skeptical about the
effectiveness of such ventures. Even at the time, I chalked up the
connection to having made certain other changes in my life that left the way
free for this wonder of wonders to unfold.
Ah Ha!
Over
the few years we met, the group got used to my unexpected AH HA! moments,
usually related to something apparently unrelated to the discussion. The
group would be talking about whatever when all of a sudden - SWOOSH!
My mind would be bathed in a new light of understanding about something,
sometimes something I'd never identified as an issue.
Will
always remember the first time it happened. We were discussing some book
or other on life dynamics when Nancy
Mega
AH HA!
Like Nancy
No comments:
Post a Comment