Take My Hand

I've been blessed to know some remarkable life coaches - most recently, the deeply gifted Anna Friesen Cole - and have been complimented when friends & acquaintances have urged me to become one.  How many time have I heard, "But you're a natural!"  Never shared that image of myself.  But I can relate with heart, mind & soul to the image of myself as a guide, helping people navigate difficult terrain I've trekked numerous times. Will never be a life coach, but here's my YES to being an end-of-life guide, because I've been there & done that.

Ian Scott Lockhart 1959

Saturday marks the 54th anniversary of my brother Ian's death, suddenly gone on an Easter Monday afternoon.  I experienced that unspeakable time as a 7-year old, so a lot of the most grievous parts went over me.  What I knew for sure was that my 11-year old brother, my closest sibling in age & manner, wasn't coming home from his afternoon of play.  

One priceless gift that came out of at most grievous time - Ken Stroh, Ian's 5th grade religion teacher & the minister giving his memorial service, took the time to talk to a little girl & had the courtesy to treat me like a big kid, asking if I had any questions.  I had one - what would Ian look like when I saw him again, in Heaven?  

Ken gave a brilliant answer, one that resounded in my so-very-young mind.  Realizing that my worry was how he would look after the accidental shooting that took his life, he drew me over to him & sort of leaned me against his lap, so we could look straight into each other's eyes.  "Ian won't look the way you remember him right now," he explained gently,  "He will be a young man, much older than Ian was on his last birthday.  But, Elsa, you will know him immediately because you will recognize his loves, which is all that we really are."  In the moment of seconds it took to tell me that, "Mr. Stroh" flicked on a switch in my mind - it might seem sort of esoteric for a very young girl to grasp, but grasp it I did.  That image of Ian as his loves rather than an earthly body helped get me through all the strange adults hugging my & patting my head, got me through the burial, where Dad slumped against a tree & Bishop Pendleton went over to put his arm around his stricken friend, got me through everything.  It stays with me still.

next - Raymond (universally known as Pete) Lockhart 1973