Dressed & ready for church this a.m., I put my hands into the pockets of my beloved corduroy jacket (purchased with great pleasure at a long ago American Craft Council show in Baltimore). In the right was a business card from someone we met last week; in the left was a small piece of white paper, no more than 1" x 1/2", with craft scissors-cut edges - the handmade price tags I used yesterday at the last Bryn Athyn Bounty of our first full season.
Standing there, looking at it, was bemused to realize that 15 years ago, I would have been clueless who was indicated by the initials "DV" - would never have occurred that it was ME.
How long ago did I start going by Deev? Was it before Mom died, or after? Will have to check the back issues of the Bryn Athyn phone directory to see when I first listed us as "Murphy, John and Deev" instead of "and Elsa."
Has to be less than 13, because it was after Mom started her e-mail postings under Mindwalker1910 - and her circle started calling her Grammie & Grammie Kay - that the power of a name, of a NEW name that more truly describes some quality of our life, our being, dawned on me.
Looking at that little piece of blank paper, was reminded of how we all tag ourselves. On my B.A. Bounty tag, I put my identifying initials on the one side, the price of the whoopie pie or decorate-it-yourself cupcake on the other.
How like what I do in life - identify myself & determine my own value. Well, in collaboration with others. I would have way undercharged last year at my first bounty for my whoopie pies (introduced diy cupcakes this year); it was Paige Austin Gunther who recommended charging more than what I'd planned. The final call was mine.
What if she had thought the charge I'd planned was too high, that it needed to be cut? Would I have calculated the cost of the ingredients used, the time it took, and stuck with what I had (which at least covered those costs) OR would I have cut the price, shifting the event from one that generated a profit to one that made money for the college (which takes 20% of our sales) but not for me?
What value did I put on what I made? What value do I, every day, put on who I am? How much to I calculate my own estimation of my value, how weight do I give how others see that value? While what others see is a generously shaped, fairly bodacious woman, within I am basically the human equivalent of that 1" x 1/2", craft-scissor edged homemade price tag. Every moment, I identify my self, I determine my value, then act accordingly. Others chip in their opinions about that value, but the final determination is mine.
What is on the tag marked DV? Is it higher, lower or the same as what it might have been for ELM? Identifying myself, tagging my value. Are there things I can do to increase the value - make larger whoolie pies so that I sell all, dredge the filling edge of the pie with colorful jimmies or pipe the filling with a greater flair? add a 3rd size option to the cupcake offerings? And if increasing the size of the whoopie pies results in ALL being sold, will it disappoint John to not have one or two typically left over for him to enjoy?
What can I do to increase the value of my metaphysical tag, the one that identifies me & my worth? Does the value on the tag match up with how other people might or might not value me? Does it matter.
Interesting thoughts to ponder on a Sunday morning.
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