Mim & Mom as "Menders"

In reading Martha Beck's Finding Your Way in a Wild New World, kept thinking not so much of myself as I do of my sister, Mim, and of my Mom.  

From my earliest memories, there was something special about my older sister.  Not special in a "gee, she is so terrific" way;  special in a "there's something about her, some deep quality that defies description" sense.  

Maybe it was that quality that I longed to have for my own, yet felt I never could, the quality that made me - until age 24 - want nothing more than  to be like my sister.

Which never made sense to others, since my sister didn't seem to have a life that anyone would want to emulate.  I didn't see that.  I saw a depth, a richness of spirit, a breadth of being that stunned & amazed me, made me want to hew to it.  An other-worldliness that spoke to & resonated in me.

Which is interesting, because it apparently either didn't speak to Mim or, if it did, seemed to frighten her.  

Since reading the book, am pondering if Mim sensed that she had the heart of a wayfinder, of a mender, and it scared her.  Had long assumed that Mim is the way she is - brilliant, immensely gifted, yet apparently self-rejecting - due to some early trauma.  Now, I have another possibility (realizing neither might be right) - maybe she has the soul of a wayfinder, but fearful of all it could bring.  

Mim as a wayfinder, a mender.  So much would make sense that didn't before....

As for Mom, there's no convincing me she didn't have the heart of a wayfinder, a mender, although perhaps thrown somewhat off-course at times with her own family, due to early life challenges.

Seeing her in my mind's eye, sitting in her big chair in the living room, a magnet for the moms gathered in our dining room making boxes for their freshmen daughters, remembering the looks & attitude as they knelt to talk to her - gives me chills, a deep sense of something I can't describe that ran between the mothers & this older woman.  My guess is that they'd agree with me that Mom was a mender.

Particularly remembering Krissie P. connecting with Mom in her last year, their friendship sparked by dropping off her daughters for a craft workshop, a tangible energy flowing between the two women.